East or West, We are one – All Bhutanese

“The highest poverty rates continue to be Lhuntse, Pemagatshel, Dagana, Samdrup Jongkhar and Samtse. Although these dzongkhags are home to only one quarter of the population, nearly half of the poorest Bhutanese people live there”  (From Kuensel).

When people in so called urbanized part of the country has more than enough, the far-flung villages in the country are still looking for their square meal. Forget about the luxurious life, they are not in the position to meet their day’s end. Whosoever is making the policy, never be proud, for the country still has a great lot gap in regional development.

When the core Thimphu city hardly has a safe place for one’s foot, road in Lhuntse hardly finds a vehicles plying; when it is very confusing to locate for a particular office in Thimphu, the same is as good as visiting the neighbor next door in Lhuntse.

The western part of the country is benefited with various developmental activities and industrialization. People have easy access to market for buy and sell. The basic amenities provided in this region are far more conducive. There are more than what people actually needed. My goodness! Four lane roads in the core capital city and well maintained. Do we have same road conditions in other parts of the kingdom? The answer is definite. NO.

The major developmental policy is always framed to the mainstream economic zone. Most of the institutions, offices, industries and factories are located in the western part of the country. Seemingly, there is a less attention being paid other dzongkhags.

Balanced regional development has been talk of our policy makers for long. We have heard so many of the talks and seen little been done in action. When Thimphu city has well paved road, most of the people in the rural parts of our country are using bumpy road. When Thimphu has 4G facilities, some of the rural communities are not able to get efficient mobile network. We boast of having cent percent connectivity with cellular phone but what is the use if the network provided is not efficient and useable?

If there is balanced regional development, am I in the position to name any industry that is backbone of the economy of Dagana, Lhuntse and Zhemgang apart from agriculture? Do these dzongkhags have any tertiary institutions? Or any regional offices?

These dzongkhags are distanced from the mainstream economy. People do not have proper market to sell their produce. They only cultivate for their own consumption. And the products are being shared with the wildlife. The produces depend on how kind the natural disasters are. Our people are less educated about the need for diversity. So when one crop fails, there is a total destruction. Thus, poverty.

…will be continued…

In the Land of Gross National Happiness…

…Where is Your Home?

I am not against the philosophy of GNH but I want our people realize that we need to do so many things to make the ideals of GNH come true to prove to the world that GNH is achievable.

 

The “Kingdom of heaven” is a condition of the heart – not something that comes “above the earth” or “after death.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

Bhutan is famous for its developmental concept of the Gross National Happiness. The dynamic leaders of this tiny Himalayan kingdom emphasize on the happiness-oriented growth. Any developmental activities should ultimately lead to happiness of the people, if I am not mistaken. Thus, the ultimate product of the developmental activities should be ‘HAPPINESS’ of the people. How wholesome this concept is! Plato is, indeed, living in Bhutan. Thomas Moore’s Utopia will come true if the concept of Gross National Happiness is achieved cent percent. Will this come in reality? Did Bhutan government ever realized that every developmental activities come at the cost of the livelihoods of innocent and poor farmers?

In the kingdom where happiness is placed at the top, there are many lapses. There are chasms to be bridged, unturned stones to be turned and darkened places to be illuminated. Nothing is so concerning than the disadvantaged and vulnerable people. Happiness kingdom is adorned with homeless people, wandering and feeding on rubbish for their survival. There is a need for Bhutanese people to rethink some of our actions if we are truly going to live by the ideals of Gross National Happiness. For a nation to be happy, the root is individual happiness. There are many disadvantaged people who are not able to meet the day’s end.

On December 9, 2012, I was heading homeward from college for my winter vacation. I with some of my friends arrived at Mongar at around 7:30pm and I still had more than 40kms to reach my destination. So we took lodging at Newlee Hotel. The hotel isn’t that customer friendly or economically beneficial. Neither the hotel is clean nor warm blankets in the room. In the dearth need of shelter, something is always better than nothing.

After having had dinner in the same hotel, I took a short walk towards what so called ‘Helipad’ of Mongar. To my surprise I saw some sort of shed made for hounds. I went closer and with the help of dim light of my mobile, I took a look. It was not a home for hounds as I deemed it to be but there was a man inside. Another thought rushed in me. The public ground of Mongar is well decorated with colourful tents and flags. I thought that there might be some religious sermons in process, and the person in the shed might be some devotees who had come from a very long distance for the sermon. My thoughts were further strengthened when I saw a symbolic ritual cake. 

The very next morning I again took short walk towards the same place. This time was not exactly a walk. I just went to find a decent place to attend the call of nature in the nature, for toilet in the hotel is awfully horrible. The same ramshackle that I deemed to be the temporary hut of the devotees is owned by a mentally challenged person. What a surprise! There are a few bottles filled with dirty water. There is no remains of food. The blankets he had been using are all torn. This shackle had been his home.

The person living in the shed is mentally challenged. I have had seen him for several times. Whenever I visited Mongar, I can see the same man in the same shed. He is seen in the town begging for foods and eating from the dirty plastics from the dustbins. There is a question of safety of his health. He is sufferer in the land of GNH.

Recently the national newspaper ‘Kuensel’ featured that man in one of the publications. The government might have eyed the story. The government might have thought for the resolution to serve the disadvantaged and the vulnerable.

 

At one time, I was in Konbar village in Mongar. There too I saw two old aged people living in a hut. The hut can hardly bear the pressure of wind and rain. Their children had locked the newly constructed house and gone with their so-called faithful wives. The couple has hardly anything to survive with. The husband who could be in his 70s is visually impaired and the wife who could most probably be in 70s cannot walk properly. However, she is the guide. I felt very pity on these old parents. All I had in my bag was a few packets of Maggi. I gave it to them. And in return the wife said, “Lopon kadrinchey wana. Sho nang phiwa. Tsi nyai aie dabu mangi wa drakpu thur an cholay ga moelam chana.” Her words brought tears to my eyes.

The life of the old couple is very miserable. They might be waiting for the last day to come. Only these two people will know what truly dead is. It can be solace to their endless sufferings. People might blame their kismet for their sufferings, yet there are so many things that we can do to improve the livelihoods of those disadvantaged.

The aforementioned is a few of the many such incidences. The above two incidents show how our people are suffering in the land of GNH. Former has homed in ramshackle and the later has home no better than cave. When we have so many people suffering in our land, let’s forget propagating the philosophy of GNH to outside Bhutan. We have to make it happen in our own land. We should create concrete ideals so that outsiders can believe and appreciate the philosophy. Let us not fancy the lofty buildings in the cities, let’s not fancy the luxurious SUVs, and let us stop dreaming to help poor people in other nations. Let us start doing from our own land. Let us give to the disadvantaged. Let us build shelter for the needy ones.

Food Sufficiency vs. Food Price in the Local Market

The primary objectives of the 11^th five year plan is to achieve food self-sufficiency especially cereal and dairy products. This is a great move the government is taking and placing forth the people of the young democratic Bhutan. Attainment of such noble goal will not only reduce our imports of producible from the neighboring countries but also is a signaling of the attainment of self-reliance.

Food self-sufficiency has its own drawbacks in our country. Local produces are sold at huge price. Take an example of local rice at vegetable market. A kilo of rice is costing not less than Nu. 100. A ball of cheese is priced at Nu. 25 to 30. Everything local has high price tag. Local produces are seemingly meant for the elite and able ones. The local produce is not meant for layman and those employed with minimal income. Are they not Bhutanese people?

The government is trying every possible ways and means to achieve food self-sufficiency in the country. From mechanization of the farming to setting up of the market, farmers are placed at the top. So much has done to improve the agricultural productivity in the local communities but less is being done to regulate the price in the market. The concerned authorities have a great concern of the rural prosperity but seemingly seemed to have less concern about the urban poor.

If such is the condition in the near future, the consumers of the locally produce can determine one’s class. The elites and the well-to-do middle class people will be able to enjoy so called organically produced and the less privileged has to live with the same imported so called inorganic produce from the neighboring states.

Will people with lesser income be able to pay Nu.25 for a bunch of sag? The bunch of so big that it is not able to feed the whole family a meal. Remember that we need to have three meals a day. Excluding the ingredients in the curry, for a day we need to spend Nu.75 a day and Nu.2250 a month (if a person consumes sag only).

We are fond of talking and advocating GNH. How can there be happiness at the national level if people are at the mercy of skipping their meals because of the soaring market price? Are local produces not meant for local people?

Economic Development Policy of 2010 point outs the need to have Brand Bhutan. Is Brand Bhutan merely about price? I think that is not true. Our politicians, beauracrates and policy-makers are paving road to World Trade Organization. The goods and services produced by the other countries are entering the market at reasonable price. Will our products which are sealed at high cost gain market momentum in the global market? Today we have vegetable markets mostly filled with imported vegetables from the neighboring states. Take an example of Thimphu Centennial Farmers’ Market. Buyers mostly folk to ground floor where the imported vegetables are sold at fairly reasonable price.

I am not an Agricultural Economist. I am not expert at the cost involved with the local produce. Cost of production may be high but the price tagged with the produce is much higher in the eye of the buyers. Even higher when people brand it as an organic.

Let us not play the game of electricity export with locally produced food items. Lets’ stop exporting the produce to the neighboring states and later import the same. This will not indicate we are sufficient in food production but fools. We export food items from our country at somewhat low price and then import the same at a higher price.

At present, Bhutan is too much dependent on energy. We boast of being exporter of the hydropower. A huge investment is being made on the development of the hydro projects. A huge number of Bhutanese people are driving and willing to drive autos. And a huge expenditure is being made to keep these autos on the road running by importing fuels and spare parts. Energy exported is thus made energy imported. Petrol, diesel, kerosene and LPG are all routed from India. What is meaning with Bhutanese trade?

When we have here, Why look for others?

I may not be entirely right to write the following but I am penning what I feel and what is right in me. I can be hanged for writing this. I did not do any crime. This is a mere freedom of expression utilized by layman and lowly educated. Bear the wrongs, highlight the mistakes with your wisdom. I salute your rightness for I am a mere wanderer lost in the desert.

Italy had Florence Nightingale who did godly service to the soldiers of the Crimean war of 1854. She treated the wounded soldiers from both the sides. She pioneered nursing. That was the service of priceless human being to the humanity with selflessness.

Bhutan had our own. We still have. Dr. Lotay Tshering, a noble man. Capable, indeed. A man with unfathomable knowledge. A man that saved so many lives. A man that serves the nation with utmost dedication. And the list is endless.

When Dr. Lotay Tshering, a urologist with the Jigme Dorji Wangchuck National Referral Hospital declared his intent to join politics, the Royal Civil Service Commission had the gut to slapped a Bhutanese citizen with Nu.62 lakhs for he went against the law of the land. Dr. Lotay did not do any crime worth that much amount. For past 12 years, he was with the Ministry of Health treating the dying patients. At last, an acknowledgment for his selfless service was having to pay a lump sum amount to the government. He was directly or indirectly forced to resign from the service.

Aftermath of his resignation, the national referral hospital had to refer several patients to India for gallstone and other kidney related surgery. The government must have spent a huge amount to refer patients abroad. There was no competent person to replace HIM.

There are so many questions flickering in my mind. I do not have clear-cut reason why Dr. Lotay got such a cruel reward. Is it a meritorious award for him by RCSC? Did Dr. Lotay committed a big crime by declaring his interest to join the politics? Joining politics is his fundamental rights. Was he not allowed to exercise his rights? Nowhere in the Constitution there is an article stating that health specialist should refrain joining politics. If He is treated with such, then what about those civil servant who goes on corrupting the country every day? What about those civil servant who do not do anything in the office and receives same amount of salary at end of the month? What about those civil servants who claim a huge amount of TA/DA bill without travelling away from the threshold of their office? What about those civil servants who always drink and come to office? What about those civil servants who gamble in the office with the door locked from outside? Is there justice in the system?

I am flabbergasted when RCSC issued warning letter to Dr. Lotay Tshering. When we are advertising and looking for medics from other countries to join our Health Ministry to curve the shortage of medics, why did the commission slapped him with aforementioned amount? Did RCSC ever heard that there are some doctors in the country who are mistreating the patients? Did they issued same warning letter and amount they are liable to pay to those doctors? Dr. Lotay Tshering is one of the rarest of the rare doctor who is entirely dedicated to his profession and does his duty dutifully. There is something wrong with our system.  Why are we looking for the medical specialists outside when we are not able to treat our own professionals heartily? We have qualified and well-versed specialist. We have right here.

I was reading the KuenselOnline news article when I saw Dr. Lotay making voluntary contribution. He is still serving the needy ones with surgery camps. More than 400 patients availed surgery services from Dr. Lotay after he resigned from the service. Isn’t he a noble person – a God disguised in human beings to safeguard humankind? Doesn’t he deserve a better reward than the previous one?

The Health Ministry wants him back but whether or not to join the ministry is his choice. And it should be. He is not an animal who goes away when people chases out and comes back when they want. He was chased away by the concerned authorities making him to pay a colossal amount. If he join the Ministry again, won’t he be getting the same ill treatment again?

Who could have come back to render volunteer service after the authorities penalized him/her? Will you and I? The answer will be big NO. But the Urologist did. He did for the greater cause. SALUTE HIM. HE DESERVES IT. We have exemplary citizen. Do not look in other countries for examples of patriotic citizen. We have right here.

Today, Dr. Lotay is serving the people. His voluntary contribution should be looked at as an example. This is more than the natural responsibility. He is making best use of his acquired knowledge. Many lives are being saved by his generous effort. A huge chunk of government’s money is saved. He is, indeed, a true Bhutanese. MAY HIS CONTRIBUTION BE ACKNOWLEDGED BY THE CONCERNED AUTHORITIES.

MAY THY SERVITUDE TO THE PEOPLE BE BENEDICTION,

A GEM THAT WILL ACCOMPLISH THE UNACCOMPLISHED,

A DREAM THAT COMES TO REALITY

RENDERING A NEW HOPE, A NEW DREAM, A NEW LIFE.

FOR THY SERVICE, I SALUTE THEE.

You Are What You Are

When happiness is within, do not search in others. It is sheer wastage of time and energy. Do not blame yourself for not being able to do what others can do. Those who can do what you can’t cannot do what you can. Every person has different talents. Do not feel yourself in a poverty stricken state. The rich is surrounded by anxiety, fear, debt, worries, lies, deceptions, corruptions and the list goes on. You are champion of your life. You should be what you are, not what external environment forces you to be. If so, then you are imprisoned. You most probably do not want to be suppressed, but you will be if you change your personality. If you think your life is full of barriers, then do not look at others who seem to have swift life. Do not look back to the past and lament the joyful days of bygone time. Think how you can enjoy your life in the times to come. Do not close your book too quickly. You do not know what lies there in the very next page until you turn the page and read it. Life is always suspense.

                                    Sherub Phuntsho

མི་ཚེ་དོན་དང་ལྡན་པར་བཟོ།

དལ་བརྒྱད་འབྱོར་བཅུ་ཚང་བའི་ལུས་རྟེན་འདི།།

ལན་གཅིག་གྲུ་ཆེན་ཐོབ་བཞིན་རྙེད་དུས་འདིར།།

སྟོང་ལོག་མ་བཏང་ཕན་པའི་ལས་ལ་བརྩོན།།

སེམས་ཅན་ཐམས་ཅད་ཕ་མ་ཡིན་ཤེས་ནས།།

དེ་ལ་སྲོག་གཅོད་མ་བྱེད་བྱམས་སྙིང་བསྐྱེད།།

རང་ལ་ཕན་རྟག་བྱེད་པའི་གང་ཟག་ལ།།

དྲིན་ཡོད་བསམ་ཤིང་གོང་དུ་བསྐུར་བར་བྱ།།

རང་ལ་བསམ་ངན་བསྐྱེད་པའི་དགྲ་བའོ་རྣམས།།

ཁོང་ཁྲོ་ཞེ་སྡང་ཁྲག་དོག་མ་བསྐྱེད་ཅི།།

དེ་ལ་བཟོད་སེམས་བསྐྱེད་ནས་ལེགས་པར་བྱ།།

རང་གིས་བྱེད་པའི་ལས་ལ་རྟག་ཤིང་བྱ།།

སྐྱོན་ཡོད་ཤེས་ནས་ལེགས་བཅོས་བྱེད་པར་ཤེས།།

བྱ་བ་མ་གྲུབ་སྔོན་ལ་བསམ་བློ་བཏང་།།

དུས་ཚོད་གསེར་བ་རྙེད་པ་དཀའ་ཤེས་ནས།།

འཕྲོ་ལོག་མ་བཏང་ཕན་པའི་ལས་ལ་བརྩོན།།

བདག་གིས་བཤད་པའི་ལོ་རྒྱུས་ཅུང་ཟད་ལ།།

ཤེས་རབ་མ་ལྡན་སྐྱོན་ཡོད་བདག་གིས་བསམ།།

ཡིན་ཀྱང་བློ་རིག་ལྡན་པའི་མཁྱེན་ལྡན་གྱིས།།

སྣང་མེད་མ་བསྐྱེད་སྐྱོན་ལ་ཡོན་ཏན་བྱེད།། །།

 

Farewell Speech

Andrew Marvel said, “Time’s winged chariot.” When I joined Sherubtse College in 2009, I thought I have all the time that the world has, but this notion of mine was wronged. Four years have passed quickly. I regret this very moment for not fully utilizing my stay in this premier institute of learning. I think it is too early for me to leave this college. I regret to keep the pages of beautiful and wisdom bountiful books in library unturned. I have not shook hands with many, my lone world will haunt me. The best company of mine – books will leave me. The pot of wisdom will not accompany me to intensify my worth. 

DH V in particular has provided me a greater platform to enhance my credibility. With compassionate and understanding provost, my intellectual has got a new demesne. With charming and caring inmates, I have learnt to love and value other. The bygone seniors of this very hostel taught me to value public properties and withstand the times of need with unity and cooperation. Working with hands together, our hostel is able to be the best residence place in the college. Our past had believed in oneness, we followed their steps and our success has been guided by them. This moment, a time for me to bid farewell to this heaven teaches me the worth of this hostel and the harmony we shared as a family. Thank you PROVOST, my colleagues who passed out last year and passing this year, juniors who are graduating with three of us this year and the remaining faithful ones. You all together made my stay a wonderful one here.

The faithful ones, who are remaining back, don’t be happy-go-lucky. In the society of pan on the oven, let yourself be cooked but not fully. Remind yourself that out of past, there is present and present should give rays hope to future. Pain is essential for growth. The more remote and in agony you are, the better are you. Comfort zone does not necessarily make you a better person, but sometimes there should be shade to rest before exposing yourselves to the sunshine. Know that seed has to grow to become plant. Plant should grow to become a tree. Tree should get matured to flower. Do not try to walk without feet and fly without wings.

I thank my roommate and cousin, Tenzin Gyalpo, friends Ugen Dorji, Lungten Wangdi and Puran Nepal for being my smile all the time. We laughed, ate and slept together. This tight bond will remain etched within me. I thank Mr. Nandalal Gurung for being my intellectual friend. In teaching you, I learnt more.

Lethro and Tashi Rabgay for being my constant source of success, and you have taught me the things that I have never learnt before. You two also served as my reflector.

I personally thank Mr. Kinley Tenzin for teaching me how to withstand solitude. This is one of the incredible lessons I learnt during my four years stay. Everything in the world is transitory. Not even friendship can perpetuate our existence.

Distance widens as we say farewell. We bid farewell not in our heart, love had grown but we never realized until today. The joy and sorrows we shared are indeed buried under the pages of time. As we depart, words seem vague for only the heart can speak. As tears fill our eyes, we wear fake smiles on our face and bid farewell hoping to meet again

Goodbyes are not forever. Goodbyes are not the end. They simply mean I will miss you until we meet again.

May the road rise up to meet you, May wind be ever at your back. May the sun shine warm on your face and the rain fall softly on your fields. And until we meet again, may God hold you in the hollow of his hands.

May the sun of glory shine upon the roof of DH-V, and nurture the saplings of this hostel to board the ship of wisdom to the stable posterity. I thank you all for being the best companion in the needy time.

Only if You…

Only if you could comprehend other person’s emotion, you could be in the position to tolerate others. You could then have compassion for that person. You and I are human beings. You have soul, I too have emotions. These things have tendency to get shattered and miffed.

Only if you have heart and patience to listen to other person’s story, you could comprehend the situation. You can realize what is eschewed behind. Only coterie people can come together to share the commonness. I am not philosopher neither am I creator of the universe. I cannot give life shaping lecture, neither can I bring the forces of this cosmic circle under my control. Life is in our reach, but the events that are recurring to us are beyond our reach.

Only if you have corner for condolences, you would not look into the decayed past, for you will know that past is nasty and it will smell. Past is gone, present is with us and future is yet to come. Certain things have gone away, certain is with us and uncertainty is to come. Past is tragic, present is tragi-comic and future is farce. You will feel sorry for other’s tragedy.

Only if you know the driving forces of humanity, you will know the seasons of human life. Life is but annuals - Growth in spring, blooming in summer, rapture in autumn and debris in winter. Springs have harsh storms, summer - heavy mists, autumn - frosty dew and winter - a complete destruction. This is human life inter-woven with the tragic elements. Life cannot always be the bed of roses, and roses too cannot be taken as a pleasurable thing. Roses have thorns, and we have to respect the thorns to avoid pricking.  

Only if you have patience to listen to the voices of the past of others, you will have time to console yourself. I know what your past comprised of, but you do not know what my pasts were. I have desire to share my past. The matter of time brought destruction - tsunami to the life. Every rotten thing is brought to the shore and the hopes on the shores are all washed away, leaving debris behind.

Only if you know we do not live in Utopia, you will realize the governing forces of this world. Human beings do not care their tongues. Their main work is to poke their noses into other’s business. They do not want Utopian ideals occurring right under their noses. How funny human beings are! This world will have both ups and downs. If we are happy, sadness is definite to come after. Do not think that the other side of meadow is always greener but when you happen to go there and view back, that side where you have taken your place earlier too will look greener.

Only if you have habit to listen to others and to verify the story, misadventures will be solved at ease. Life won’t be cloudy. There will not be misty present and hazy future. You will understand under what circumstances I lived in. You will, then flashback into my past. Past isn’t sweet, melodious and cheery. I have lived a life in the prison of others’ world - a type of world where my passions are suppressed. I had yearned for freedom and had a quest for individualism. Until I found you, the ultimate meaning of my life is foggy. Others are constantly ostracizing me. I had lived in a decayed world. Indeed my world is force to degenerate. I was one with the decayed world of solitariness. All alone! No friends, no soul mate, indeed, no one to listen to the cry of my heart. Lonesomeness filled my life.

Only if you could understand my pains, you won’t be in this trouble. Things had happened to me, not once but twice. I had a terrible life. My parents tried their best to comfort me, and still do they. They do not want their son to be in somber. They look for happiness for me, and I pretended to be happy to make them happy. Beneath me there lies a heavy heart - a grief stricken state. There isn’t a drop of nectar in my heart. I do not know what happiness actually is until you entered my life. You gave me a profound joy, a new hope, a new ray, and I feel sad when these newfound things shade on me at this very hour. When lights of my life shimmer in darkness, I feel again dead. Philosophically, I am dead.

Only if you could understand the time factor, you wouldn’t blame yourself for staying too hushed. You are not blameworthy for this but I am. I thought this very moment is unpromising and I shrouded my moldy past. The love I rendered to you is not phony as you deemed. I wanted to own diamond over diamante. I knew the strength of your trust showered upon me, and I thought excavating past at the early hours would indeed rescind the shining present.

Only if you can eschew the myopic vision of others, you will be able to live your life without muddle. You can hear one thing, but that thing may be sometimes true or that story will have explanations. I have bitter stories of bygone days. Some I shared, hoping you would ask for more. When you didn’t, I silence myself, fearing of your repugnant.

Only if you give me a chance to share my whole story, you can understand more about me. I told you something that I had never ever told to others, and yet I have some more to tell. I am prepared to tell the bitter story. But these bitter stories are all history. These happened in the past, and there is no connection to my present. The only connection is its haunt. These stories are ghost to the present. It keeps on haunting me time and again. I looked for ways and means to clear the barricades. Like children scared about their shadows at night, I am scared of my past. I know you despise me from the very bottom of your heart; still I have loads of feelings for you. I struggled for you; I should now strive for you.

Only if you can understand the underlying rational for my desire to stay here after my graduation, you will know I have concrete reason for not facing the future so leniently. You will know why my childhood place has no charm. People always go to their childhood place in their old age to reminisce the memory of hide-and-seek game they played there during their youthful age, but my youth is torture, suppressions, depressions and repressions. I have no place where I played hide-and-seek game. The prerogative of my life is with the society I lived in. It is only after coming to this college I found a new life. And your entrance added flavor to my stay.

Only if you have heart to reconcile, this thing would solve without woe. Diamonds aren’t diamond in the beginning. Its origin is rooted in dirty muds. A beautiful flower has its root in filthy soil. And my past too is. 

Only if you could control your temper and listen to the other counterpart, you will understand the greater and the little; the whole and the parts. You can easily visualize the hue of others. You will then not suffer in agony. Life indeed is a haphazard of actions and inactions.

And only if you could…and if you could…

Bitter Memory, Yet Heart Beckons You

When I met you, you were:

A newfound love,

Spring of new hopes,

Summer of new blooms,

Autumn of joy, and

Winter of togetherness.

But seasons of love ended with Spring.

Dear Ugyen,

We were meant to be together – good or bad; bad and worse. Life was once beautiful in the meadows of love. There was perpetual sunshine. There was a time when I was able to see the smile on every elements of Nature. I did agreed with Wordsworth’s line, “Nature never did betrays the heart that loves her.” Indeed, my nature, the sublimity of my life was you. There was taste in everything you did. There was and there is time when I read and re-read the archies you sent to me. But this act is now seemingly archaism. You transferred me to the mud of sufferings. Life suddenly took a terrific turn. That was the doomsday of my life.

The last week of May 2008 was a week that brought tones of smiles and happiness to me and the third week of September 2011 was the one that lifted tones of smiles and happiness, and replaced with sadness, sorrows and hammerings of rain. This action, indeed, occurred at the crucial crux of my health. I played football a few days before the aforementioned week and my ill luck overtook my luck and got my right hand fractured. Under the tremendous pain from pygmified right hand, you decided to take a turn in your life for good, leaving a deep scar on my heart. You did it for the good of yourself.

Six months after that were long, time took slow pace. There wasn’t haste moment of time. I listened to the music, yet I found no rhythm; I played with friends, yet there lacked enthusiasm; I beckoned the company of my friends, yet the depth of my heart rejected their companies; I seek solace in books, yet I could see you walking by the lines of every page, and life was absurd then. The heart knew that it is solitary and there is no explication to find solace. The beat of my heart then became sporadic. 

Life, then is a homogenous mixture of to be and not to be. Everything that interested me vanished, heart still yearns for you. I know your prince charming is notably worthy, and I might too have somebody, yet my heart seeks and yearns for you. This is your power. You have etched something in my heart that cannot be forgotten. Sometimes I think the memory that I have is merely a dream. The beautiful moments of the past are gone, memory still haunts me. The past is ghost of present. Love is but the haunting ghost. Powerful is love, bitter is memory. Sweet or bitter, the memory of the gone love has made a history of something worthy.

 

I had a dream, a dream to be like that of dove, sitting on the twig, sharing the inner zone of eternal love. However, for dreams to come true we have to depend on our kismet. This is a determining factor of our life. I have no words to blame you, nor a bitter feelings for you because you move ahead for good. Sometime, someday if our kismet still binds us together, we will be able to unite. Thank you my love. May you have swift past and concrete future.

With love, with best wishes,

Truly yours,

Sherub Phuntsho