Only if You…

Only if you could comprehend other person’s emotion, you could be in the position to tolerate others. You could then have compassion for that person. You and I are human beings. You have soul, I too have emotions. These things have tendency to get shattered and miffed.

Only if you have heart and patience to listen to other person’s story, you could comprehend the situation. You can realize what is eschewed behind. Only coterie people can come together to share the commonness. I am not philosopher neither am I creator of the universe. I cannot give life shaping lecture, neither can I bring the forces of this cosmic circle under my control. Life is in our reach, but the events that are recurring to us are beyond our reach.

Only if you have corner for condolences, you would not look into the decayed past, for you will know that past is nasty and it will smell. Past is gone, present is with us and future is yet to come. Certain things have gone away, certain is with us and uncertainty is to come. Past is tragic, present is tragi-comic and future is farce. You will feel sorry for other’s tragedy.

Only if you know the driving forces of humanity, you will know the seasons of human life. Life is but annuals - Growth in spring, blooming in summer, rapture in autumn and debris in winter. Springs have harsh storms, summer - heavy mists, autumn - frosty dew and winter - a complete destruction. This is human life inter-woven with the tragic elements. Life cannot always be the bed of roses, and roses too cannot be taken as a pleasurable thing. Roses have thorns, and we have to respect the thorns to avoid pricking.  

Only if you have patience to listen to the voices of the past of others, you will have time to console yourself. I know what your past comprised of, but you do not know what my pasts were. I have desire to share my past. The matter of time brought destruction - tsunami to the life. Every rotten thing is brought to the shore and the hopes on the shores are all washed away, leaving debris behind.

Only if you know we do not live in Utopia, you will realize the governing forces of this world. Human beings do not care their tongues. Their main work is to poke their noses into other’s business. They do not want Utopian ideals occurring right under their noses. How funny human beings are! This world will have both ups and downs. If we are happy, sadness is definite to come after. Do not think that the other side of meadow is always greener but when you happen to go there and view back, that side where you have taken your place earlier too will look greener.

Only if you have habit to listen to others and to verify the story, misadventures will be solved at ease. Life won’t be cloudy. There will not be misty present and hazy future. You will understand under what circumstances I lived in. You will, then flashback into my past. Past isn’t sweet, melodious and cheery. I have lived a life in the prison of others’ world - a type of world where my passions are suppressed. I had yearned for freedom and had a quest for individualism. Until I found you, the ultimate meaning of my life is foggy. Others are constantly ostracizing me. I had lived in a decayed world. Indeed my world is force to degenerate. I was one with the decayed world of solitariness. All alone! No friends, no soul mate, indeed, no one to listen to the cry of my heart. Lonesomeness filled my life.

Only if you could understand my pains, you won’t be in this trouble. Things had happened to me, not once but twice. I had a terrible life. My parents tried their best to comfort me, and still do they. They do not want their son to be in somber. They look for happiness for me, and I pretended to be happy to make them happy. Beneath me there lies a heavy heart - a grief stricken state. There isn’t a drop of nectar in my heart. I do not know what happiness actually is until you entered my life. You gave me a profound joy, a new hope, a new ray, and I feel sad when these newfound things shade on me at this very hour. When lights of my life shimmer in darkness, I feel again dead. Philosophically, I am dead.

Only if you could understand the time factor, you wouldn’t blame yourself for staying too hushed. You are not blameworthy for this but I am. I thought this very moment is unpromising and I shrouded my moldy past. The love I rendered to you is not phony as you deemed. I wanted to own diamond over diamante. I knew the strength of your trust showered upon me, and I thought excavating past at the early hours would indeed rescind the shining present.

Only if you can eschew the myopic vision of others, you will be able to live your life without muddle. You can hear one thing, but that thing may be sometimes true or that story will have explanations. I have bitter stories of bygone days. Some I shared, hoping you would ask for more. When you didn’t, I silence myself, fearing of your repugnant.

Only if you give me a chance to share my whole story, you can understand more about me. I told you something that I had never ever told to others, and yet I have some more to tell. I am prepared to tell the bitter story. But these bitter stories are all history. These happened in the past, and there is no connection to my present. The only connection is its haunt. These stories are ghost to the present. It keeps on haunting me time and again. I looked for ways and means to clear the barricades. Like children scared about their shadows at night, I am scared of my past. I know you despise me from the very bottom of your heart; still I have loads of feelings for you. I struggled for you; I should now strive for you.

Only if you can understand the underlying rational for my desire to stay here after my graduation, you will know I have concrete reason for not facing the future so leniently. You will know why my childhood place has no charm. People always go to their childhood place in their old age to reminisce the memory of hide-and-seek game they played there during their youthful age, but my youth is torture, suppressions, depressions and repressions. I have no place where I played hide-and-seek game. The prerogative of my life is with the society I lived in. It is only after coming to this college I found a new life. And your entrance added flavor to my stay.

Only if you have heart to reconcile, this thing would solve without woe. Diamonds aren’t diamond in the beginning. Its origin is rooted in dirty muds. A beautiful flower has its root in filthy soil. And my past too is. 

Only if you could control your temper and listen to the other counterpart, you will understand the greater and the little; the whole and the parts. You can easily visualize the hue of others. You will then not suffer in agony. Life indeed is a haphazard of actions and inactions.

And only if you could…and if you could…