From the Wings of Pen and Other Poetry

Where am I, I am

Journey, life is gone to where I belonged not,

Heard I not the essence of life, instincts lost,

Primitivism ensued, chasm hovered me.

Indeed, this is life, chaotic and muddled.

Promises are made to be broken,

Dreams are dreamt to be shattered!

The journey is tiring, long and winding path:

No beginning, neither end, middle laid I.

Lost, still I know who I am.

From nature I came, to nature I go:

I should dissolve to where I was from.

Godot, where are you, come, save my soul,

Chasm, I hate. Meadows haven’t seen I.

Crusoe lost in deserted island, nowhere am I.

In the kingdom of nowhere, am I the ruler and subordinate.

Perfect isn’t any man, am I a man.

There is rule, makers are breakers.

Innocents lived by law, powerful no law,

Saw I the mishaps and downturn of society –

Yet I find myself on the fence.

There wars, here famine, everywhere problematic,

People live a life with make-belief faith.

There I see, here I hear: problems!

Greed filled people; greed propagated greed,

Tomorrow is not seen, they experience only present,

Dying people have no souls to lament their loss,

Sufferers have none to give aid.

In the name of goodness, the war -

Worst of worse, is fought, civilization is destroying.

Seeking peace, the innocents are made to suffer,

Building vibrant economy, poor are impoverished.

Religion is but a social norm, principles lost their values,

Congregations are commercializing of products, theft of the wealth of pitiable,

Modernity is but a satire to modernism.

Saw I the chaos of world, heard I the bitter stories of mankind;

Mankind look for solution, they seek solution in others

Never did they realized the residence of solution,

Never did they realized the outer world is in problem,

Solution is not outside but within.

I am with the problematic world, I carry solution –

Your instinct is the solution, changeth it to better,

The world will cease the problems.

Happiness will sprung, make your internal tips minimal,

There is tomorrow, future still needs the air we breathe,

Essential, every elements of the earth should be saved.

Ailed state needs remedy, not war but peace at heart.

I am with ailed world, I am sick.

Doth my ancestors thought the repercussions of their action?

Nay, we are suffering today, and future is blurred.

This is the state of our world, I live with this world.

Where I am, I am.

In Sherubtse College…

…Where two ‘PASS’ make one fail

After the Second World War and the nuclear annihilations, the essence of living in this modern world is baseless. The meaning of the meaning is lost. We live in the world where there is no proper exist. We live in absurd world where existence is meaningless, purposeless, baseless, chaotic and incoherent. Everything is muddled. Actions and inactions are but homogenous mixture. The following is one such example of absurdism:

Learning in education is all to do with grades and the marks achieved at the end of the day. Grades are everything in this modern world but what do one need to do to achieve a good marks in academics? Sacrifices and consistencies should be placed at the forefront of the ladder. Students are graded in two different way in most of the institutions, and Sherubtse College – the premier institution of learning in Bhutan is no exception. There is internal and external assessment.

In Sherubtse College: 

Ø  Internal assessment is carried out in various ways – assignments, oral presentations, mid-term or class test, class participation, viva and so on. The total marks allocated for internal assessment differs according to departments and the year you are studying. Some departments allocate 60%, some 50% and some 40%. The minimum requirement to get through is 24, 20 and 16% respectively.

Ø  External assessment is merely the semester end examinations. The weightage for the external assessment is the remaining of the internal assessment. If I keep the aforementioned per cents as the internal marks, then the semester end examination will be out of 40, 50 and 60% respectively.

However, things are not smooth as we expect. If your internal assessments are carried out of 60%, then definitely your external assessment will be of 40%. The minimum requirement is 24% for internal assessment and 16% for external assessment, and if your score is aforementioned, then your total marks will be 40 (24 + 16 = 40). Are you awarded P (PASS)? The answer is big ‘NO’. You are failed. This would be the only learning institution in the world where two pass can make one fail. You need to get 50% to get through the semester.

This thing is really difficult to understand. If student is to declare failed after crossing the benchmark set for internal and external assessment, then what is the meaning and essence of the ‘PASS’? How can two pass make one fail? What is the logic behind this concept? Who is responsible for this: Vice Chancellor?  Dean of Academic Affairs? ‘The Academic of Wheel Laws’? Exam Convener? Head of School? Programme Leader? Year Guide? Module Tutors? Or Students?

I think this logic of declaring students fail is baseless. Though this thing is definite to be in the ‘Academic Wheel of Laws’ the ones responsible for framing this rule might have thought about the consequences of such law. The repercussions of this law is felt in the psychology of students not the one that framed the law. The students who are declared failed after passing both internal and external assessments are socially demoralized, physically weakened and psychologically tortured. I am not bluffing the things. I have seen these and I am writing about these.

I am very surprised when I see Sonam who is back to the college. The initial thought I have of him is ‘he is the one who has been called back to the college as an assistant lecturer.’ But I am wronged. Wronged! The guy called back as an assistant lecturer is my friend Dechen Wangdi. Sonam has come to clear one of the papers of 5^th semester and he too have to come and clear one of the 6^th semester paper sometime in coming June.

Astonished I asked, “Do you have another paper to clear next semester?”

 “Yes, I do. I have one paper,” he replied affirmatively.

Curious and still bewildered, I further asked: “will you come and attend the classes?”

He is determined and said, “No.” I later learned that he has passed both the internal and external assessment before but he was not in the position to get 50%. This law has hampered him by one year. Some of his friends are trainee officer in the Royal Institute of Management and some undergoing PGDE in SCE and PCE. Some are already employed.

This is one story. Another story of the same incident but under different circumstances:

I have a friend studying in B.Sc. Computer Science 3^rd Semester. He is an ardent lover of study and a consistent student, as of my good knowledge. He is next to my room. And I know more of him, for I usually visit his room for one reason or another. It so happened that during examination time, I visited his room. As usual, he was busy with books.

The moment he saw me he told me, “aww, mawala na wai.”

“Hang awa ya?” I asked.

“Namning ga exam sho jigi pass sholay raybey mo? Internal Marks la 40 gay 16 sho bewa la.”

“16 sho pass gilamai?” I retorted.

“Dag pa internal dang external dom pa kam 50% tshas la mai. Jigi JAVA ga 34 ma nyong tu,” he told me like a desperate and down-turned hunter.

Yes, he is right. When he was not in the position to score more than 40 percent in internal which are mostly done by referring other materials and discussing with his friend who are better than him, it would be difficult for him to score 56.7% in written examination.

Though there failure is confirmed on his fate, I just offered consolation is mist, “wai, yang ni la pass tey sho du na. tsa drag ni lham sho lay.”

“Aww, ER (Essential Repeat) sure gila. Phaiga lam pay bulay,” He told me with lament and tragic tone in his voice.

The hopes are shattered by this absurd rule. The only thing possible is to change the system itself. I mean there need to be change somewhere to something. Responsible person for this should be responsible. They should not make innocent and poor students suffer. This law is indeed absurd and baseless.

The only suggestions to the heads:

Ø  Make pass mark for both Internal and External 50% (OR)

Ø  55% in either of the component and other one at 45%

This will be more justifiable for declaring students fail. The persons in the administration should look into this matter at the earliest. Something changeable should be changed.   

A Dream

Suddenly a light flashed, freshness shillyshallied

The long, quivering thoughts and dull days vanished.

A new array of hopes, another spring sprung –

Full of optimisms – a fresh ardor to putrefied life:

Your entrance gave me a profound joy.

Haunting past had gone, monotonous present altered,

Dreamy future turned to be a new ray upon me.

Lived I in the lackluster past, avenging the pains –

The pain of wounded heart, a benediction in masquerade:

A blessing to embrace a new hope, to open way for new things.

Feared am I to embrace the future, I lived in the past.

Lost traveller am I in the misty future, there was no guide

Neither light nor a new faith was there in me –

Until you came, you came to metamorphose my life

To make me comprehend the future still exists.

Impossible became possible, dreary past seemed illusion

The pragmatism of reality had a new genesis

Abounded with inspirations, driven by aspirations

Traumatized dreams and shattered hopes found a new demesne –

A way into a new world, stable and constant, I believe.

Da Vinci painted your image within me – a stable one.

The frescos in my heart, the tapestry of my life;

Snowy fluid to the past, a light to the future,

You entered with dazzling anticipations and exactitude.

You had indeed performed an efficacious xeno-transplantation.

There is no future but only past, thought I.

Wronged am I, the future still breathed for me,

Instincts had never guided me to future, or to present

Uncertainty became certain, power shunning barricades cleared.

You gave me a new life adorned with inventiveness.

Never thought I, this life would shine on me,

Never dreamt I, there is another person for me,

Never imagined I, my future – a bright and lucid indeed,

Never deemed I, capable of entering to the future

Until you come with the possibilities to build castle in the air.

A short talk enlightened me, your jokes uplifted me

Your innocence to conceal the known facts,

The capabilities of yours’ strengthen the weakened soul,

Motivates me to move forward, to a new horizon

The abyss is no more my world.

You bear the cold, I shared your heat

The chilled heart of mine got warmth once again,

Defied past has vanished into inferno discerning new horizon to future.

Things would never be like this again, deemed I,

But life is suddenly so sweet, a sharp turn of life.

People say that there will be a time in every man’s life,

A time when he will face a question which he has no answer.

“Hang ani jang lekcha ya?” you asked me.

The answer I still do not know - too absurd,

The essence of loving you is, however sturdy.

Is it an illusion am I enjoying?

Am I in dream once more in a cozy bed?

Am I under the influence of substance?

If dream, I would continue to sleep,

If effects of substance, I would wish to have more.

Johnson, blame me not but words are not sufficient,

Used I all the vocabs from your store

Still I have many things to share.

Invent me more words, give me your advanced store

I will communicate the whole story to Fanny.